Friday, 16 July 2010

Dumb (almost) Live!

I am writing this as I read it. I just signed into msn and they have a news piece pop-up called "Leaving her: 8 rules".

Now I have NEVER read a "rules" for relationships that wasn't complete bullshit, and I am so confident that it is that I'm going to write this as I read them. Ok, rule 1:

1. Make sure you want to.

"FUCK. That was lucky. I was about to break up with her, I had got all my reasons clear in my head and was preparing to deliver them to her in an emotionally charged finale to our relationship, but then I realized that I don't want to break up with her at all, in fact I want to get married and be with her forever!

Lucky I read that fucking article."

What kind of man starts breaking up with a woman and forgets to check if he actually wants to do it? Is this the same guy who watches 5 hours of football before remembering that he hates football?


2. But if it's over, it's over: "When you've made up your mind to do it, do it."

Again, what kind of fucking man is this? He makes up his mind to break up with her and then doesn't do it?

Same guy who decides to go to work at 9, checks his watch at the end of the work day and realizes he forgot to go in?

Remember, you loved her

This is turning into a serious, serious mental problem.

4. Remember the ground
"If you don't plan ahead, you may be in for a long night of tears, tantrums and smashed gadgetry. Preparing for the moment of separation is key to a smooth break up."

Well, I hope so. Is this really something to be avoided? Anyway, not too goofy. It just seems that if she is that upset and you ever cared about her maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to not just go "You're dumped, bye!". Of course the guy this article is taking about has probably forgotten who he is 5 times by this point.

5. Do it!

Again; what kind of man is this? He needs to be reminded to actually do things. Also on this page;

"Use conciliatory language, and don't always say exactly what you mean. So, "your friends are a bunch of toxic harpies," becomes, "I just couldn't click with Cath and Sal"."

This is actually terrible advice. It's excuse-making, and this would lead to a "Well I can change that!" scenario which is very hard to deal with.

Again, has the writer even been in a relationship? If so they clearly didn't have the gall and sense of self-worth to just state "I don't want to do it anymore" without having to shift the fucking blame onto poor Cath and Sal.

6. But don't 'er', do it

"On no account accept the offer of one last 'intimate moment'. It will only confuse matters and end up making everything more difficult in the long run."

Again, what type of person is both the man and the woman in this scenario? According to this article she's crying, she's distraught, the guy is a chronic amnesiac, and now she's going to get horny through all the tears?

And if it is a 'trying to get you back' fuck, well what kind of guy can be won back with sex? A woman who uses sex to manipulate and a guy who is manipulated by sex are probably best together instead of fucking up normal people's lives.

7. Don’t expect anything
"You may have it in your head that you can still be friends, but that's not your choice. Don't blame her if she takes the news less cordially than you imagined she would."

Well, kindof passable I guess. I think it's a sad scenario if, without the relationship, you don't even like each other. Says something pretty dark about relationships. However, as this guy probably won't remember the relationship after leaving the room it's not going to be a problem.

8. Repeat (for a while)
"Depending on how long the relationship lasted, how intense it was, and how secure or insecure you and/or your partner are, you may need to be prepared for further conversations," says Elly Prior.She probably deserves a few of those, but you don't deserve a stalker. At some point, the talking has to stop and the 'moving on' to start. If you've been courteous, kind and resolute, that will probably happen sooner rather than later - for both of you."

I guess. I'm still pretty fucking uncomfortable with how they're making this woman out to be. There seems to be no notion of her not being upset or also wanting to get out of it. And the wording almost implies this is likely.

So yeah. Dating 'rules' still a fat load of bunkum.


  1. Oh no, the overworked social editor (because her staff was laid off) mailed in a half-assed article, what will we do?! All of the advice here is good, it's just that most of it is obvious to experienced, well-adjusted adults. If you're a dumbass, a teenager, or an emotionally-challenged person, maybe this helps you. For the rest of us, it's an article on MSN (which is insipid enough on a regular basis that another such article is neither surprising nor interesting.)

  2. "All of the advice here is good"

    I beg to differ; most of it has no way to go but down. At best it's dehumanizing and at worst it's just thoughtless, even for the amnesiac moron an the emotionally manipulative cunt in question.

    And frankly, it worries me that ALL these articles seem to be targeted at dumbasses, teenagers and emotional retards; should these people even be in relationships?

    Maybe all the articles should carry the post-script that "If any of this was useful to you, set your genitals on fire".