Monday, 12 July 2010

Not Dumb: Johnny Anglais, Sex Educator

I read the Daily Mail. Anyone in the UK will recognize that as a right-wing rag and possibly the funniest single piece of literature in the world.

Whilst I could write articles on that paper alone for the rest of my natural days, they did deliver me something which I think is, quite simply, a big bucket of badass. That something is Johnny Anglais - the sex education teacher by day, pornstar by night, who was sacked from his teaching job after his secondary line of work was uncovered.

But, rather than apologize, Mr Anglais (of "European Honeyz 4" fame) said....

(from The Mail website)
"'It is something I do in my personal life that doesn't go against anything I teach the kids. There are many more immoral ways to earn money than romping in front of the camera. Lawyers defend paedophiles, bankers raise money using questionable means and large corporations often put finances ahead of the government."

What a badass son of a bitch. He wasn't going to back down and apologize when the system had him in its sights. He told them exactly what he thought despite obvious pressure to do the opposite. You're a true patriot Mr Anglais.

Now I remember being taught sex education; we were told a number of things which, in retrospect, make my blood boil. One was that sex was something done between a boyfriend and girlfriend or a man and his wife and was a bonding process best when a couple were in love. We had a lesson on how to resist the temptation to commit infidelity, and how destructive it could be to sleep with people who weren't your partner, with rather too many masculine qualifiers for my liking.

There was never any mention of alternative relationship forms which, as a person who doesn't accept the validity of monogamous sexual relationships at all (or polygamous ones, but that's another show), makes me question whether or not it was more of a Christian Education lesson than anything, and my teacher, who was fantastic but very ill-suited to her role as an educator in matters of sex, spoke like she scarcely knew what sex was.

I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would have preferred to be taught by Johnny Anglais, who looks so damned cool he almost makes me forget that he shares a name with a Rowan Atkinson Character who doesn't exactly embody sex appeal.

Frankly sex education should be completely re-written. Bring the pornstars and strippers and just full-on sluts in. As much as I think Holly of the Pervocracy doesn't deal with criticism very well at all, I want someone like her teaching me about fucking. It seems like the central point of sex, that it is done because people enjoy it, has been completely forgotten in this scramble to act like it's "no big deal", which spawns teachers who look like they must have practiced for about 10 years just so they can say "condom" and "clitoris" without wincing.

But let's not loose focus. Let's tip our hats to Johnny Anglais and his willingness to speak his mind after being sacked by a school who found out that, god forbid, their sex education teacher is so good at sex that people actually pay him money to do the damned thing.

I mean who'd want a science teacher who somebody would actually pay to do science? Or a PE teacher who someone would actually pay to play a sport? It's be madness; the kids might actually be prepared for the real world by somebody who has conquered it!

So Anglais, Johnny Anglais, keep up the good work and allow me to officially brand you "Not Dumb".

Addendum: I was very sorry to hear that "European Honeyz 5" has been canceled and the series handed over to Christopher Nolan for a gritty reboot. Although I think "Honey Begins" is going to be a new take on the franchise, exploring the origins of the European Honeyz and the psychology behind pornstars in general, I was sad to hear that Johnny Anglais' small, hairless male sidekick "Chico" isn't going to feature in the new films. His green knickers will be sorely missed.

1 comment:

  1. I die to see him on action... where can I watch his porn online? :'( I havent found any clue about it